Come what May...

May has been a happening month so far.

Both in good ways and bad. But we won't discuss the bad. I am trying to be in peace with the fact that --"If things are not in my control, I better not break my head trying to control them". Is that a saying or did I just make it up ? If I made it up, that will be my first quote. Get used to my wisdom people. So what if I don't live by them.

So, first May and even April was good because we could finally tide over winter, watch buds bloom, hear birds chirp and not wear heavy jackets to dinner. One who has never worn a fur lined double layered jacket and been strapped inside an overheated car day in day out, will never know what bliss it is to not wear them.

Spring in my Backyard

I would say the month was good because of just that one single reason. Period.

But then something more exciting happened. I went to Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's reading of  her newest novel, "The Oleander Girl" in the city. I am not much of a city goer but sitting on a public transit bus which was crawling at a pace less than a snail and watching the skyline outside change from  a backdrop of slate grey pink to pitch dark, I had a liberating experience. Yes, I was getting painfully late but it was okay. I was going for myself alone. I had no one to answer to and no phone calls if I did not make it on time.It is rarely that I ever go anywhere for myself  and very rarely is it done without a certain goal in mind. Just to risk a work day evening to travel 120 minutes for the sole purpose of  listening to a favorite author ? I have never ventured that far before.

And meeting the author was worth the experience.Strangely I have never wanted to meet authors before. I love or not-love them through their books.It is their written words that conjure a image in my mind and I don't think meeting Agatha Christie or P.G.Wodehouse or Bani Basu or even Chitra Banerjee in person would alter anything.

But this time I wanted to go and I am so glad I did.I felt so enriched just by hearing her answer questions about how she writes, how she thinks in different voices and gets into the skin of the characters, about how she draws characters from mythology and her gem of an advice to new authors."Read," she said. "Read, not merely as a reader but as a writer".

OMG, and did I just say Voice ? Voice ? Two years ago the only voice I knew was that coming out from my own larynx and here I am throwing about ideas on "voice".

Then of course there is my book, of which I received my first few author copies. The afternoon I saw the familiar Harper Collins logo on a hefty cardboard box just outside the door, I panicked and went inside the house without even trying to drag in the box.
Should I just ignore it and pretend that this whole thing never happened ?
Should I just think of it as a dream and forget it ?
Should I just say "Whose darn package is this" and post it back at the return address ?

Only after 15 minutes of sweaty palms and racing heart, did I muster enough courage to tell the husband that there was a package at the porch and it might be my book. And even then I could not dare to look at the book, to leaf through its pages, to make sure that it indeed was the one I had written. Of course after the package was opened and the books glanced through, the grim reviewers in my home shared prophecies.

"There are only two color pictures. Spot Books have so many nice pictures. This is boring," said the 4 year old LS.

The 9 yr old, voracious reader, wanted to read it but I said "Later".
After a quick glance through the pages she gravely asked "But will people in US understand it?"
I remembered Chitra Banerjee's advice -- never underestimate your readers.

The husband-man(referred to in the book as H-man) said, "Your publishers are astute to have done the book in paperback".
After a scathing pause he tried to explain, "That way if something goes wrong and the need arises to hit the cook on the head out of frustration, no one will be hurt much. A Hard cover could have been far damaging".

I won't say anymore right now. Writing the book was really fun and I am really happy the way it has turned out but this now is the scary part.

The book is up on Flipkart for pre-order at a special price. So now it is your turn. Go ahead and order.

Pre-order from Flipkart

Maachher Paturi -- the new woman's twist

Macher Paturi

The word "paaturi" comes from the Bangla word "paata" or leaf . That said, it becomes crystal clear that "Maacher Paturi" or Fish Paturi is a preparation where the fish is cooked in some sort of a leaf.

It being a Bengali recipe. it also becomes more than crystal clear that the said fish has been marinated in a sharp, pungent mustard-y paste of shorshe bata and drizzled with mustard oil. Okay, apparently there is a non-Ghoti version where the fish is wrapped in other spice pastes, not necessarily mustard but I have not tried that.

Once these two bases have been covered you are free to "go as you like" on Maachher paturi.

More than 20-25 years ago,

1. The maacher paturi that I would eat would always be prepared by my Dida.
2. The fish would always be Ilish.
3. The leaf would always be Banana. Some homes do their paturi in gourd leaves like Lau Pata and they taste very good too.

Kolapata was easily available, an arm's length away, growing in perfect neglect amongst the jackfruit and pampered mangoes, making it the leaf of choice. Dida would dab the fresh Ilish pieces with shorshe bata and kaancha shorsher tel, throw in a few green chillies and wrap them up in cut rectangular pieces of the Banana leaf. With an expert hand she then neatly tied the fish parcels with twine, an act which I looked at with much wonder. Not being a very dexterous kind myself, I found the whole "tying with twine" part a very complex act and based on that memory of neat parcels alone, I labeled paturi as a dish difficult to concoct.

Once the parcels were ready, Dida would tuck them into the steaming rice, that was cooking in a large pot on the coal stove. This tucking would happen towards the very end of the rice cooking and the latent heat from the hot rice would steam the fish in their banana leaf parcels. When those leafy envelopes were opened to reveal the mustardy fish, the fragrance was ethereal. Have you ever taken a strong whiff of banana leaf that has been warmed with steaming rice and then spiked with aroma of shorsher tel and Ilish ? It is hard to describe. Just like it is hard to explain the fragrance of tea in earthen kulhars or the perfume of yellow stalked sheuli that has touched the wet earth on autumn mornings.

Some days Dida would also tuck those leafy fish parcels in the dying embers of the unoon or coal stove. The fish cooked slowly, soaking up the flickering heat and smoke, while Dida cleaned up the kitchen, took a shower and offered white balls of nokuldana to her Gopal. That Paaturi tasted a little different from the one cooked in steaming rice. Here the kolapata was lightly charred and had a smoky fragrance where in the other the flavor was more clean and dominated with the fragrance of rice.

20 plus years later, the paturi that I make has the new woman's twist on it. The fragrance is not exactly as it would be in Dida's kitchen.

1. The Banana leaf is bought frozen, in exchange of several dollars from an Asian Store.
2. The fish is not always Ilish and fillet of fish like Swai, Salmon and Tilapia are abundantly used. 
3. Instead of tucking the fish parcels in a pot of steaming rice or in dying embers, I just put them in the oven.
4. And oh, I never use twine to tie them up. I use toothpicks to secure the packets and heave a sigh of relief.

But the taste is pretty close. The fish cooked in the banana leaf, is delicate and flavorful, the mustard paste is just as sharp and pungent, the fragrance of the banana leaf as ethereal.

Some things never change.

You can also steam them in a steamer like this or do them over a covered griddle on the stove. But I almost always do it in the oven, because that way I can forget about them while they cook on timer and go about my life of getting homework done, folding the laundry and prepping for next day's lunch.

When it is dinner time, "ting-ting" there is delicious paturi to be had. Amazingly I had blogged about a Thai Fish wrapped in Banana leaves a couple of months ago and given a choice between the Bengali fish paturi and Thai fish in banana leaf, it is hard for us to choose. We love both equally.

Maachher Paturi -- Fish in mustard paste cooked in banana leaf

Prep

Clean the fish and get it ready. If you are using fish fillet cut each fillet in about 3"x 3" pieceI started with 2 fillet of swai, each cut in 3.

Make homemade Kashundi. The best option and that Kashundi will serve many purpose.

If you are reluctant to do so make Mustard Paste as follows:
Soak 3 tbsp of Mustard seeds + 1 tsp Poppy seeds in water for 20 minutes
Drain and put in a blender jar along with 4-5 hot green chillies.
With a splash of water make a thick paste.

Now if I am using fish other than Ilish/Hilsa, I also add 2 cloves of garlic to the blender jar and make a garlicky-mustard paste

In a bowl, pour the
mustard paste
1 tbsp Mustard oil
salt to taste 
pinch of turmeric powder
Mix and make a smooth paste.

Variations: Sometimes with mild fish that does not have much flavor of its own like Swai etc., I add some more things to the mustard paste. Like I add couple of tablespoons of dhonepata chaatni(coriander chutney) to the mustard paste and then use it as the marinade. Try it. Mustard with fresh coriander adds a beautiful layer of flavor.

If you have bought frozen banana leaves, defrost them first by keeping them out at room temperature. Then cut them in rectangles of 6" x 6" or your preferred size. Wash each piece. Dry. Keep aside.

Now I buy frozen banana leaves which are already wilted and perfect for wrapping.But if you have fresh banana leaves, you need to prep them for wrapping. First cut off the central thick rib and trim the edges. Then cut them in preferred size. To make them flexible you need to wilt them. For that pop them in the oven at 200F for 5-8 minutes or warm them over very low flame of your stove/gas range. Be careful that you do not char or burn them in the process.

Start Cooking

To marinade the fish, you can either use your home-made Kashundi or Mustard paste.
Put the fish fillet on the banana leaf.
Rub with sprinkle of salt (mustard paste already has salt so very little on fish) and smear generously with the mustard paste.
Add few drops of mustard oil.
Garnish with a tbsp of grated coconut and slit and chopped green chilli. If using frozen grated coconut , defrost it before using.

Wrap the banana leaf to make a parcel as shown. Secure the loose ends with a toothpick.

Now usually I let these parcels rest for about 30 minutes before popping them in the oven. For a big party, I make the parcels a day ahead and refrigerate(NOT freezer). And then just an hour before the meal, I take them out and let them sit at the counter. I put them in the oven 25-30 minutes before the meal is to be served. That way you get fresh steaming paaturi with minimal effort on party day.

Put the packets on a oven proof tray.  Pre-heat oven to 350F. Bake these fish parcels for 20-25 minutes until you see the banana leaf charring slightly around the edges.

I serve the parcels individually along with steaming white rice.

Kerala Style Chicken Stew and a Yellow Belt

Sometimes when I write this blog, I feel a tad guilty.

Am I being totally honest here ? Am I portraying only a slice of my life here ? Am I writing only about the funny and smart things my kids say ? Am I hiding from the world that my PMS lasts for exactly 21 days and 5 hours, give and take two ?

The thing is when you read a blog, anyone's blog you see only a slice of the blogger's life there. The slice the author/blogger has chosen to put forward for world viewing in HTML. So it would be wrong to assume a character, a life just based on the posts he/she may be doing.

Just because someone eats organic almond flour pancake for breakfast and posts the recipe does not mean they don't eat phuchka for lunch. Just because someone is proudly posting pictures of masterpieces drawn by her 2 year old does not mean that the said 2 year old did not get a timeout for scribbling on the walls that very morning.If you give it some thought, you are only seeing a small window, like looking through the camera lens.What lies outside of that is nobody's business.

You should neither judge nor form lofty opinions based on that.


In my case, I mostly write about the funny things that my girls do because that is what I want to remember about their childhood. The fun part. I don't want to remember the tantrums, the meltdown, the shrieking screams, the tears, lots of them. They are a part of life for sure but ten years later they won't matter. This will.

But today I want to write something different. Amidst the fun I also want to write about the learning and the growing. Both my daughters' and mine.

So I usually write about LS's smart retorts which are really really funny and she is indeed a sharp kid, sharp as a knife and cute as a button. At four and half she reads menus at restaurants. Have I told you she is also funny?

But also she is someone who takes a little time to warm up to people. Every kid comes with their individual traits and LS, I have realized is not very comfortable amongst a group of people she does not know much. I mean not strangers, just people she is not that familiar with. In that scenario she is a completely different person. She gets quiet, even timid and until few months back she would also be very intimidated by friendly gestures from such people. There were birthday parties where she would resort to howling and gatherings where she refused to talk to anyone. This in sharp contrast to the playful, naughty girl doing somersaults amongst people she is very comfortable with. And by "people she is comfortable with", I mean both friends and families she sees more frequently.

No doubt her transition to pre-school was tearful and difficult. In the firs few months she refused to play with the kids in class and took to sticking to the teacher.There was a point I was also getting a tad worried because BS had been a moderately social child with an easy smile and an eagerness to participate in everything and I had no clue how to make LS more comfortable in a crowd.

"You were exactly like that at her age." my Mother said. "You would chatter and talk non-stop at home and outside you were a bhije beral."  I chose to ignore her statement.

When I talked to her teachers early last year though, they seemed the least bit concerned and stuck to my mother's theory of "every flower blooms in its own time". I need not worry, she is a smart kid and plays with few kids if not all, they said. The only thing they however suggested I could do is to enroll her in some group activity classes to make her comfortable in large groups.

Since BS was already learning taekwondo, I thought to enroll LS in the same class. I knew the teachers very well and if both kids could spend an hour there three afternoons a week, I could spend a good amount of time at Kohl's across the street.Yeah, that was my incentive. Also that my otherwise polite girls could beat up people in future if necessary.

Last summer when I enrolled LS in the taekwondo class, after the first couple of classes she refused to go. Forget Kohl's, I would be sitting there in class with her and yet she cried. Her teacher however was an excellent gentleman with far more patience than mine. He never forced her to do any forms and tried to play games with her. Even on the day LS locked herself in the office and refused to come out, he managed it all pretty well. Didi, too helped by always being on her side. Slowly, and I mean really slowly, over a period of 3 months or so LS warmed up to her taekwondo class. She played tag with her teacher, jumped on the trampoline, punched the dummies and also learned some karate moves. I think the class had a positive effect because even in her pre-school she gladly did the weekly sports classes and made more friends.

"I just want her to be in the class. It is fine if she doesn't test for any belts," I would tell her teacher. At that point I was just relieved that she was at least going to the class and enjoying herself there.

Finally, first testing came up around end of  Feb this year. BS was testing for her brown-black belt. If LS at all wanted, she would get a yellow belt, the second level. I asked her if she wanted an yellow belt.

"Yes, Mr.K has said I am ready, " LS said, very confident, uncharacteristically excited about testing day. I gathered she had no idea that there will be loads of parents that day and she would have to demo her moves in front of them. I tried to prepare her by telling that there might be more people in class on the day but she need not worry and such but she didn't really pay me enough attention.

On the day of testing, when we reached the school and she saw all those people there, her face darkened as excepted. Soon tears started rolling down her cheeks. She being the youngest student in the class, the other parents were actually happy to see her and more friendly than usual. That made things only worse and she refused to leave our side. Finally after much pep talk by me, the Dad, the sis, the teacher and an incentive of frozen yogurt with loads of topping, she went on to do her form exercises. Her face was still tense and my heart probably beat faster than hers. But I knew she needed this push for her own good. She however did everything that was expected of her albeit with less power and vigor than on her regular days.

Test over we came back and the day was forgotten.

Next week was result and LS got her yellow belt. She had done her form in full and so she passed on to the next level. We tried to make a song and dance of it and she too seemed a little proud of her yellow belt. There is still miles to go for her to be more open of people but we do see a lot of changes. She has quite a few friends in school and her class teacher really loves her.

Thirteen yeras later when she packs her bag and steps into the outside world, I want to remember her first yellow belt. It must have taken a lot of courage for her 39" petite frame, to do those exercises in front of people she did not know but she had survived and survived good.

And I am sure she always will. To conquer her fears and step out, to face the world and say "Hai-Yah"

Now to the chicken stew, which this time is Kerala style. LS loves chicken and every Sunday a chicken curry is made with her in mind. BS is not too fond of meat these days and I try to make a chicken dish that caters to all four of us as a Sunday lunch. We are quiet fond of this Kerala Chicken stew with creamy coconut milk from Mishmash's blog.

I have adapted it and add vegetables like carrots and beans to it sometimes. My method is also a bit different to suit my taste. I also make it less spicy for the kids. To make it spicier for us, I use Preeoccupied's idea of finishing off with fried red chilli and garlic slices.

Spooned over a bowl of rice, this creamy and fragrant Kerala Chicken Stew makes a  lovely Sunday meal for us. It really really is very good. Cannot thank Mishmash and her beautiful blog enough for it.

Kerala Style Chicken Stew

Original Recipe

Prep

Marinate about 2lb of chicken pieces with salt, turmeric powder, little lime juice and 2 tsp of ginger-garlic paste

Chop about 4-5 small red potatoes in halves.
Chop a small sized carrot in sticks
Microwave the vegetables

Start Cooking

Heat vegetable oil in a saucier or kadhai

To the hot oil add
6-8 whole dry red chilies and
6 cloves of garlic sliced thin
When you get the flavor of the garlic remove the garlic and red chillies and keep aside. We will use this for garnish at the last stage.

Now to the garlic flavored oil add the chicken pieces. Saute the chicken pieces till they loose their raw coloring. If water is released from the chicken, cook till water dries up. Remove the chicken pieces and keep aside.

Add some more oil if needed to the kadhai.

Temper the oil with
2 green cardamom
2 clove/laung
1 thin stick of cinnamom
10-12 whole black peppercorn
2 star anise
and a sprig of curry patta

Soon the fragrance in your kitchen will be so beautiful that you will forget Dior.
At this point to the oil add
1 medium sized red onion thinly sliced
5-6 pearl onion (optional)
1" knob of ginger peeled and chopped

Fry till the onion is soft.
Next add the potatoes and carrots cooked in the microwave.
Sprinkle 1/2 tsp of home-made Garam masala powder and saute the vegetables.

Add the fried chicken pieces and mix with the other stuff in that kadhai

Now add
1 cup coconut milk + 2 cup of warm water
salt to taste
and let the gravy come to a boil.
Add 1 more cup of coconut milk, lower the heat, cover and let the chicken cook.

Once it is done finish off by
adding a few more curry leaves
the fried garlic + red chilli from the first step

You can also  heat a tbsp of ghee in separate pan, roast some cashews and add it to the stew as suggested in the original recipe. I often skip this step though it boosts the flavor.

Enjoy with some rice.