Aloo Phulkopir Dalna with Chingri -- and food tales of Bengali women

Phulkopir Dalna

Aloo Phulkopir Dalna | Potato Cauliflower Curry

This Potato Cauliflower curry is a typical Bengali dish which can be made both as a vegetarian phulkopir dalna and a non-vegetarian version. Addition of shrimp or prawns in any Bengali curry changes it to a non-veg avatar, a fact adored by the fish loving Bengalis. Both the niramish phulkopir dalna and the one with prawns is shared here.

While I was writing my book, there was a section on the superlative vegetarian cooking of the Bengali ladies of my grandmother's generation, especially the vegetarian cooking of Bengali widows in those times. Due to practical reasons, that you only encounter when you are writing a book, I finally left out a portion of that section which recounted tales about my grandmother's sister. But I always have my blog to tell those stories, and this recipe of  Chingri diye Aloo Phulkopir Dalna though my Mother's and not entirely vegetarian, is the fitting place to write it.

And yes, the book has many more stories to keep you entertained.
So please check this book page for reviews, book related giveaway etc.and order your own copy.

Most of you have heard about the strict taboos placed on the eating habits of Bengali Hindu Widows until the mid 20th century. They were prohibited from eating non-vegetarian food like fish, meat, eggs, certain lentils like masoor and vegetables like onion and garlic. These were regarded as tamasik food, food that could induce passion and thus were a strict non-no for Bengali widows.The rules of course were set by a patriarchal society where men who had lost their wives were free to gallivant around with kept women, eat anything they wanted and drink to drown their sorrow. The females alas had no such choices.

By the time it was the 1970's, society had opened up but the rules laid down long back still ran deep. A fall out of these strict rules was the excellent culinary skills achieved by most Bengali widows of that time, in their vegetarian cooking.Within their limitation, they created magic.

Aloo Phulkopir Dalna

Amongst the family and relatives I knew, no one really enforced such strict rules, at least not openly but some of the women themselves embraced the taboos of their own volition. One of them was my father's grandmother. We called her "Baro Ma". I had known her for only that one year, that our life intersected and to me she was the stern lady in the sepia toned framed picture that hung above the dresser in my grandparent's room. To my father and uncle however she was the doting grandmother, one whom they loved more than their own mother. She was also the greatest cook and till this date my father tries to conjure up the taste of her paayesh and mohonbhog in his own memory.

"Baro Ma" had lost her husband when she was in her mid or late sixties. She was a woman of strong determination and steely grit and if I believe stories told by my Baba, there was no society who could force her to do anything. It is only natural that in the stories retold by my father, I see "Baro Ma", not as a deprived woman, but one of immense self-control who ate only one full meal a day and that too a meal that was strictly vegetarian. It could have been that it was easier for her to give up the non-vegetarian food she was used to eating because she was already at an age when lust and passion for food was not foremost on her mind.

Now, though she ate only once a day, her meals were very elaborate. That she loved to cook and was an expert at it, only helped. Baba says, her meals would always follow six courses starting with bitter neem leaves when they were in season or some fritters/bora made with the bitter leaves of polta pata or some dish made with uchhe. This would always be followed by some shaak or greens. Palong, Paat, Note, Pui, the variety was endless. Protein would come in the form of dals. Lentils would not only be simmered into Dals but also ground and spiced to make different boras which were fried and added to many dish. This would be followed with other vegetable preparations depending on season. The meal would always end with a milk based dessert, usually a bowl of milk which had simmered for long on the low flames of the coal unoon and had a thick layer of fat or shor on its surface. Vegetarianism only made her hone her culinary skills and with the aid of fresh vegetables, dollops of ghee, variety of spices and creamy whole milk from their own cows, she conjured meals so good that my father and uncle preferred sharing her meal than their own fish or meat options.

While I have only heard about her meals, the next story is about my father's aunt who lost her husband, when I was around 9-10 years old. N Dida, was also in her sixties, a cheerful soul who lived by herself in a house with a sprawling verandah, not very far from our own home. After the passing away of her husband, she too was sucked into folds of vegetarianism with a strong force. Again, no one had asked her to do so, she lived by herself and there was no one to judge what  she did in the confines of her own home either.I was a budding feminist and I thought it was extremely unfair that N Dida had to give up fish and meat. When she came to visit us, I would insist that she eat the Britannia cake that everyone knew had eggs in it. She never agreed.Now, that I think of it, while no one asked her to give up meat and fish, none of the elders insisted that she eat them either.

The times that we visited her though, the food was so good that I never missed our non-veg options. Soft pillow like chanar dalna soaked in a sweetish gravy, dhoka--the squares of spiced lentils in a reddish looking curry, aloo posto, daal er bora, it was an endless feast. She loved my Mother's cooking and Ma always took great pains to serve elaborate vegetarian meals when N dida came to visit.

Though many Bengalis think that a meal without fish or meat is hardly a meal to live life by and many non-Bengalis cannot imagine a Bengali eating anything other than sweet and fish, the truth is there exists a whole array of rich and flavorful Bengali vegetarian dishes and many of them owe their existence to these enterprising women of the early 20th century who were forced to give up their largely fish diet.

Also there are many Bengali vegetarian dishes that can transcend the fine line from veg to non-veg  simply by adding a few shrimp or prawns. It was this trick that the Bengali jester "Gopal BhaNr" applied to extort money from his widowed Pishi. There is a very old story about how the aunt being a widow was not allowed to touch non-veg and had cooked a niramish lau ghonto for Gopal. Gopal did a mean trick of adding some fried shrimp to the dish while eating and declaring that it was the best "Lau-Chingri" -- bottlegourd with shrimp he had eaten. The aunt afraid at what the society would say if they heard of this had agreed to give Gopal money to keep his mouth shut. Now that I try to retell the story, which celebrated Gopa BhaNr's cunning and which we lapped up as kids, I realize how mean it was. Goes to show how conditioned we are to set rules.

Today's Alu Phulkopir Dalna -- potato and cauliflower curry, is a similar dish where addition of some succulent prawns transfers it from a vegetarian delight to a non-vegetarian dream of Chingri Aloo Phulkopi'r Dalna. You take your pick.
The nuances of the dalna is explained in the Alu Potol er Dalna here. I make this potato cauliflower dish along similar lines. Some families add onion to this dish but my Mother, a sparse user of onion did not and I too abide by that.

Chingri Aloo Phulkopir Dalna -- Potato-Cauliflower curry with prawns

Prep

If you are going to add prawns there are two options.
If using the headless ones, cleaning is easy. Remove the shell, keeping tail intact. Devein shrimp. Rinse.
For the head-on shrimp carefully remove the whiskers and sharp points on the head along with the eyes. Do not remove the entire head though because it adds to the taste of the gravy. Carefully devein and remove the shell from the body keeping the tail intact. Rinse thoroughly.
Now toss the cleaned prawns with turmeric powder and salt.

Chop 1 medium sized cauliflower in medium sized florets. Soak in warm water with salt for 10 minutes.

Start Cooking

Heat Oil in a wok and fry the cauliflower florets with 1/4 tsp of turmeric till they are golden with brown spots. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on a paper towel.

Heat some more Oil in the same wok.

Fry the prawns till they turn pink. Remove and keep aside.The oil flavored with the head-on prawns adds a beautiful taste to the dish

Temper the same Oil with
1&1/2" thin stick of cinnamon
1 small Bay Leaf
1 big black cardamom and 3 small green cardamom
4 clove
few cumin seeds

When the spices sizzle add 2-3 peeled whole tomatoes from a can or 1 big juicy tomato pureed or finely chopped. Fry the tomato for couple of minutes till the raw smell is gone. If you are not the smelling type, check to see if the oil is separating from the masala.If you don't like bits and pieces of tomato in the gravy, I suggest puree and then add it.

Add 1 heaped tsp of Ginger paste/minced Ginger, couple of slit green chillies and continue frying till tomato is cooked and mushed up

Add 2 medium sized potato, peeled and quartered. Add 1/4 tsp of Turmeric and saute the potatoes till they take on a gold hue.

Next throw in 1/3 cup of fresh or frozen peas. Keep sauteing/frying for the next 3-4 minutes. When using shrimp no need to add peas.

Time for the masala.
Mix the following spices in water and add the paste
1/2 tsp of fresh ground Coriander Powder +
1/2 tsp of  Roasted Cumin Powder  +
1/2 tsp of Red Chili Powder
Note: I roast coriander/cumin seeds and grind them to a fine powder. I also use Deggi Mirch so use Red Chili Powder according to taste.

Add a little of the tomato juice or a little water and fry the spices + potatoes + peas for 2 more minutes

Add the fried cauliflower florets and gently mix everything together

Add 2 cups of water. Add salt to taste. Cover and cook till potatoes are done. Cauliflower should be done by now. Remove the cover and reduce the gravy to your desired thickness

Adjust for seasoning and add about 1/2 tsp of sugar.

If you are using prawns, add the fried prawns to the gravy at this point and simmer for 3-4minutes at medium heat.

Finish with a little ghee and 1/4th tsp garam masala powder. Serve with rice or chapati

Niramish Aloo Phulkopir Dalna -- Bengali Potato-Cauliflower curry 

This is the Traditional vegetarian Phulkopir Dalna

Prep


Chop 1 medium sized cauliflower in medium sized florets. Soak in warm water with salt for 10 minutes. Drain the water and make sure florets are dry before frying in oild

Chop 2 large-ish potatoes in eighths (each potato in half and then each half in quarters)

Grate 1 big red juicy tomato. Or just put in a mixer and puree. You can also used 1/2 of canned tomatoes to make a puree, this gives better color.

Start Cooking

Heat Oil in a wok and fry the cauliflower florets with
1/4 tsp of turmeric
1/4 tsp of Red Chili Powder
Sprinkle of Garam masala powder
till they are golden with brown spots. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on a paper towel.

Heat some more Oil in the same wok.

Temper the same Oil with
1&1/2" thin stick of cinnamon
1 small Bay Leaf
4 small green cardamom
4 clove

When the spices sizzle add the grated or pureed tomato. Fry the tomato for couple of minutes till the raw smell is gone. If you are not the smelling type, check to see if the oil is separating from the masala.

Add 1 heaped tbsp of grated ginger, couple of slit green chillies and continue frying till tomato is cooked and mushed up

Add the potatoes. Add 1/4 tsp of Turmeric and saute the potatoes till they take on a gold hue.

Next throw in 1/3 cup of fresh or frozen peas. Keep sauteing/frying for the next 3-4 minutes.

Time for the masala.
Mix the following spices in water and add the paste
1/2 tsp of fresh ground Coriander Powder +
1/2 tsp of Roasted Cumin Powder +
1/2 tsp of Red Chili Powder

Note: I roast coriander/cumin seeds and grind them to a fine powder. I also use Deggi Mirch so use Red Chili Powder according to taste.
Note: Instead of water you can mix the dry spice powders with 1 tbsp yogurt and make a paste too

Add a little of the tomato juice or a little water and fry the spices + potatoes + peas for 2 more minutes

Add 2 cups of water. Add salt to taste. Let the gravy come to a simmer.

Add the fried cauliflower florets and gently mix everything together

Cover and cook till potatoes are done. Cauliflower should be done by now. Remove the cover and reduce the gravy to your desired thickness

Adjust for seasoning and add about 1/2 tsp of sugar.

Finish with a little ghee and 1/4th tsp garam masala powder. Serve with rice or chapati

Kale Bhaja -- and how Green is my valley

Stir Fried Kale with lots of garlic, dry red chillies and then eaten with steaming rice with dollops of Kasundi. Yes ! That easy.

Though I am not too fond of eating "greens", I love green. The color green in nature.And as I say every year, I am mesmerized by the green that springs up around where I live as soon as April rolls in. The transformation is so magical and so abundant that coming from a childhood dominated with dusty greens year around, this green grabs me by the throat, flairs my sinuses, makes me take zyrtec and yet mesmerizes me.

Most evenings these days, I look forward to sitting in the patio and drinking my tea. Just staring at the green trees as I drive to work every day makes me hopeful. And taking advantage of the green and warm weather, this Mother's Day was spent at the park hiking or rather strolling along one of the trails, enjoying a a picnic lunch of pasta salad and boiled eggs and being treated to umpteen homemade cards.

Here is BS's card made during recess at school. My heart swore at the praise bestowed on me until she said,"Fate was the only word that "rhymed" with great.Ar kichu mone aschilo na." I thought, "At least not 'crate' or 'vertebrate' ."
But she also took great pain and time to make the beautiful origami flowers following instructions from youtube and that was her gift. Precious.

On Friday, I went to LS's school for the Mother's Day tea as is the norm. Either I have just got too used to it or my expectations have gone higher but this year I found the affair to be a bit shoddy. The school could have done a better job, at least as good as last year's. Or the year before that.

So anyway during the activity time, there was this rectangular construction paper where the kids had mentioned what they like to do best with their Moms and the Mom-child duo were supposed to draw/paint on that theme. No surprise, well a little surprise, that LS said she likes cooking with me. Not baking, which she does a fair bit, but cooking. That the kitchen and the adjoining family room is where we all congregate and spend most of our time might make her feel that all she is doing in her free time is cooking with Mom.

Also that  a couple of times, I have let her get on the step stool and stir something in the pot.
And she thwacks garlic and garam masala on the mortar.
And she rolls tiny rotis when my Mom is here.
And she gets to press the buttons on the blender jar when I am making onion paste.

You know where this is going ? In sharp contrast to my childhood where Ma firmly believed "girls need not learn to cook", my kids spend their life in the drudgery of the kitchen. Sniff.Sniff.

"So LS, how did you spend your childhood ? What did you play ?"

"Ohh, I cooked a lot with my Mom. And then some more."

Back to the art project, so LS drew this. She drew me and herself. This time "no visible belly button" and we are making orange Maggi. She also did not let me draw anything other than that single squiggly line of Maggi in the whole page.

It is beautiful and is going in my treasure chest.

Now, back to the green that I am not terribly fond of. The edible kind.

Since my Baba, is not very fond of eating and believes that "bhaat-aluseddho-dim seddho" for lunch and "dudh-pauruti" for dinner is enough for a human being's survival on this planet and everything else is a waste of time, my Ma did not get to cook a wide variety of greens. Palong Shaak, Laal Shaak, Methi shaak were the most common variety in our home. Pui etc. making occasional rounds. I am not sure what she felt at this green limitation but she seemed happy with the choice.

It was my husband who however is the green connoisseur having had all kinds from paat to kolmi to pui shaak to lau shaak all through his childhood. But we don't get all that variety here. Instead we have the Farmer's market with "Bok Choy", "Kale", "Broccoli raabe", "Collard greens" and "Swiss chard"

Since Kale is being touted as the "queen of greens" and people are drinking Kale Juice by the gallon, I have started buying more of this particular green these days.

The easiest way I make Kale Bhaja is as follows

Chop Kale greens

Heat Mustard Oil to smoking

Temper hot oil with dry red chilli and lots of garlic, thinly sliced.

As soon as you get the flavor of garlic, add the greens and mix. If you have a lot of greens instead adding all together , do it in steps. Toss greens, let it wilt a wee bit, add more greens, toss, repeat.

Once you have added all the greens and mixed nicely, add salt to taste and cover the saucier. Let the greens cook. Check in between and sprinkle little water if necessary.

Meanwhile make a paste of poppy seeds. This is optional but adds a nice touch.

Once the greens are almost cooked, add the posto/poppy seed paste, mix well and let it cook for few more minutes until done

Enjoy with a dollop of Kasundi and steaming hot rice.

There is another delicious way to eat Kale as in Baked Kale Chips

I have also cooked Collard Greens like a Kashmiri Haak. Some of the other green dishes from my blog are here for you to pick and choose.

Masoor Dal with Bok Choy

Broccoli raabe into a Sarson Ka Saag

Bok Choy is used extensively in a Dal, in a jhol with eggplant and bori and sauteed with garlic in olive oil
 

Mulo Shaak or Radish Greens

Kale, I cook mostly stir fried like spinach or add to my Dals. Mandira's Kale Chips are very famous too.

Pui Chingri

Shaak Ghonto

Dim diye Palong Shaak

Palong Shaak er Ghonto

Palak Kadhi

Dal with Beet Greens

Pasta in a Thai Red Curry-Coconut Milk Sauce

Thai food is equivalent to comfort food for me. So is it for BS.

When we need to be comforted, a plate of white rice and Thai red curry comes very very close to masoor dal and alu posto.

I might as well have been a Thai Mom.

Next life, I will try  to go about it.

So when another Bong Friend. N, who am sure has already applied for the Thai Mom position even before me, for she loves Thai Food above and beyond everything else, suggested this pasta cooked in red curry paste and coconut milk, I just blindly followed. And then I threw in stuff I had in my refrigerator.

It was the easiest and most delicious meal to rustle up if you have Thai red curry and Coconut milk in your pantry. This time I dried up the sauce a bit but on afterthought next time I will have a little more gravy.

First boil pasta according to package directions. I used Fusili, my friends used elbow but I think spaghetti would go best. Anything else should be fine though.

Pre-cook the vegetables you want to add. I steamed some broccoli. I also microwaved some frozen vegetables(cauliflower, zucchini)

Heat Olive Oil in a pan

When the oil is hot add two fat clove of garlic finely minced.
Follow with quarter of an onion minced or chopped small.
Saute till onion is soft and translucent. Add couple of thai basil leaves at this point.

Now add about 1-2 tbsp of red curry paste. I use the Maesri brand. The amount will depend on your spice level, I went a bit low because the kids would have it.

Saute a little and add the coconut milk. Now, I had only 1/3 cup coconut milk so I thinned it with little water and added that. I would suggest to go with at least 1/2 cup of coconut milk

Add little salt and sugar to taste and mix well.

Add the pre-cooked veggies, some halved cherry tomatoes and let the sauce simmer to a boil. When the sauce is right consistency for you, add the cooked pasta and toss in the sauce.

Cook for a couple more minutes and switch off. Garnish with Basil leaves.

Happy Mother's Day

"Ma, Maa", Mr. Bhattacharya's stentorian voice resonated across the still sleepy neighborhood.

The two gray pigeons trying to catch the last snatches of sleep in their filigreed skylight home, flapped their wings in annoyance and flew up to the terrace. Mangala, the neighborhood milkman's much pampered cow, shook herself and hurriedly called out with a matching "Moooo", as she shuffled to get on her four legs. The far eastern horizon beyond the neem tree, behind the mismatched houses of the neighborhood, further from the swanky new flat building, now had strokes of pink on a slate background and the last of the twinkling stars knew it was time to wrap up their nightly glamour and take rest.

"Your neighbor Bhattacharjee kaku is  very religious. Too much I would say," the Sens' youngest son's brand new wife, who had married into the salmon pink two storeyed house across the Bhattacharya's colonial gray one,  jangled her shiny gold bangles in irritation.

"Aha, it has been 26 years and there has not been even one single morning when Bhattacharjee Didi's son has been a minute late for his morning prayers. Winter, Spring, Summer, Monsoon-- always the same. Such devotion for Ma Kaali. And such love and respect for his own Mother. It is Ma's blessing that he is doing so well in his work and getting promoted so quickly," said Mrs.Sen softly to herself. Sleep did not come easy to her these days, her arthiritic knee was getting worse and the pain kept her awake many nights. "Blessings from Mothers are precious. But do my own sons realize that ?" she muttered with disdain

Unaware of  what his neighbors thought, Mr.Bhattacharya, CIO of McNally and Sand, freshly bathed and pious at 4:30 in the morning, picked Ma's favorite flowers, the scarlet hibiscus from his sprawling garden. He had four varieties of hibiscus. The crimson, pale pink, the soft egg yolk yellow and of course the scarlet, rokto joba, the Mother's favorite. Gently he plucked the flowers from their  stem, the petals wet with morning dew, and put them in his saaji as he sang a Kaali Bhajan in a low voice that lacked sweetness or tune. What he lacked in tune, he made up in his earnestness though.

After he had offered his prayers in the marble floored prayer room and lighted enough incense to fill the whole house with fragrance, he went to meet his Mother. On dot at 6:10. This was his everyday routine. One and half hour spent for Ma Kaali and then 20 minutes for his own mother Suhasini. In this twenty minutes he made sure that Suhasini was taking her medicine and doing the exercises suggested by the therapist. If time permitted, they also discussed the state of the country and listened to Suhasini reminisce about her childhood in Jamalpur.

For Suhasini, these were precious 20 minutes. She had led a hard life with a husband whose temper was legendary and a mother-in-law known for her miserliness. It was only in her old age, as a widow, that she finally could experience a comfortable life. And for that she was grateful to her son. She had been an ordinary Mother, with little time for her son in a life filled with drudgery and hardship. But the boy had worked hard and made a name for himself. In his busy life, he had not forgotten his Mother and pampered her with all the affulencies that she never could have imagined for herself.

Yes, she knew, he had a temper, as bad as his father if not worse. At times she even felt a pang for Sunita, her daughter-in-law. But she kept quiet. Everyone on this earth is born with their fate written on their forehead. Who was she to interfere and upset that ?

When the clock on the dining room wall struck 7:30, Mr.Bhattacharya came down to breakfast. He did the same every morning. In fact he was so punctual that you could adjust your clock by him.

"What is this ?" he shouted. His face puffed up, his jaws stern. The early morning piousness had been wiped off  by an almost cruel expression. Suhasini, counted her rudraksha beads faster. The Sen's youngest son's new wife, in the salmon pink house across, nodded her head in disdain and said "There, he goes again like clockwork".

"Why did you make Luchi for breakfast ?How many times have I told you that on first Thursdays of every month, I will have only crisp buttered toast and sausage for breakfast ? Did your Masters in International Affairs not teach you even this ?" Mr. Bhattacharya thundered.

With a powerful swipe of his right wrist, he sent the platter of white puffed luchis hurtling across the rosewood dining table. The airy luchis, floated in the air for a millisecond before they plopped on the shiny expensive moasic. The bowl of sada alu charchari lazily hit the wall and landed with a thud, the steel bowl making a clattering sound. In the kitchen, Sunita, his wife of 20 years stopped midway in her effort to make the next luchi puff up right.

Mr.Bhattacharya uttered profanities and called names. She kept quiet. She had learned the power of silence in her 20 years of marriage. It was not that he was a bad man and she had learned to shake off words like water from a duck's back.

"You cannot handle even simple affairs at home, how do you work at that bank of yours ? Some sorry state it must be in. Don't know what you would have done if you worked in a corporate office like mine ? They would have fired you the very next day. And remember, if I see such carelessness again, I will make sure that you are kicked out of this house," he wagged his finger and announced before stomping off to his chauffered car that waited at the front gate.

Sunita still silent, switched off the stove and went on her task of picking up the deflated luchis from the floor.

"Bouma, how many times have I told you that my son has a bit of a temper. If you would only be a little more careful when he is around, " Suhasini said in a liquid whisper, her 63 year old voice tinged with guilt. "Had she been a good Mother?" the doubt rose like bile in her throat.

"At least I am better off than Malati," thought Sunita. Malati, their house help, had called in sick again today. Her husband had beaten her black and blue last night. "At least I don't get beaten up like her," she comforted herself.

"Don't understand why she just doesn't walk out. She is educated, earns a good living and still...," the Sen's youngest son's new wife  gossiped to her colleague over the water cooler.

*******************

There is a little backdrop to this story. It was triggered by this ad, from a series called "Ma jaisa Koi Nahi" by Mother Dairy and which I got as a forward either on last year's Mother's Day or later. BTW, there are other Mother Dairy ads in the same series which are perfectly fine but it was this that I had got and this that I will talk about today.

That an ad from a reputed company would think it was completely natural for the husband to behave in such crass manner and then promote it on national television, amazed me. Don't know what they were trying to prove but then such scenarios do happen in many homes. It is easy to say that an educated women could walk out of the situation or try to make it better. But I have been privy to a couple of such women and however educated and strong they are, when looked at from their viewpoint it is easier said than done.

In a world that celebrates Motherhood but has little respect for its women -- Happy Mother's Day.

Lau, Potol and Summer Food

While it is only mildly warm in my part of the world, I know it is raging summer in most parts of India. So I thought of sharing a few dishes perfect for summer from my blog with you.

Potol Posto

Aloo Potol diye Maacher Jhol

Aloo Potol er Dalna

Jhinge Chingri Posto

Bori diye Lau Ghonto

Moog Dal Chora Lau

Tetor Dal or Titar Dal

Tak er Dal

Mango Dal with Masoor

Ilish Maachher Tauk

Kaancha Aamer Ambol

Come what May...

May has been a happening month so far.

Both in good ways and bad. But we won't discuss the bad. I am trying to be in peace with the fact that --"If things are not in my control, I better not break my head trying to control them". Is that a saying or did I just make it up ? If I made it up, that will be my first quote. Get used to my wisdom people. So what if I don't live by them.

So, first May and even April was good because we could finally tide over winter, watch buds bloom, hear birds chirp and not wear heavy jackets to dinner. One who has never worn a fur lined double layered jacket and been strapped inside an overheated car day in day out, will never know what bliss it is to not wear them.

Spring in my Backyard

I would say the month was good because of just that one single reason. Period.

But then something more exciting happened. I went to Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni's reading of  her newest novel, "The Oleander Girl" in the city. I am not much of a city goer but sitting on a public transit bus which was crawling at a pace less than a snail and watching the skyline outside change from  a backdrop of slate grey pink to pitch dark, I had a liberating experience. Yes, I was getting painfully late but it was okay. I was going for myself alone. I had no one to answer to and no phone calls if I did not make it on time.It is rarely that I ever go anywhere for myself  and very rarely is it done without a certain goal in mind. Just to risk a work day evening to travel 120 minutes for the sole purpose of  listening to a favorite author ? I have never ventured that far before.

And meeting the author was worth the experience.Strangely I have never wanted to meet authors before. I love or not-love them through their books.It is their written words that conjure a image in my mind and I don't think meeting Agatha Christie or P.G.Wodehouse or Bani Basu or even Chitra Banerjee in person would alter anything.

But this time I wanted to go and I am so glad I did.I felt so enriched just by hearing her answer questions about how she writes, how she thinks in different voices and gets into the skin of the characters, about how she draws characters from mythology and her gem of an advice to new authors."Read," she said. "Read, not merely as a reader but as a writer".

OMG, and did I just say Voice ? Voice ? Two years ago the only voice I knew was that coming out from my own larynx and here I am throwing about ideas on "voice".

Then of course there is my book, of which I received my first few author copies. The afternoon I saw the familiar Harper Collins logo on a hefty cardboard box just outside the door, I panicked and went inside the house without even trying to drag in the box.
Should I just ignore it and pretend that this whole thing never happened ?
Should I just think of it as a dream and forget it ?
Should I just say "Whose darn package is this" and post it back at the return address ?

Only after 15 minutes of sweaty palms and racing heart, did I muster enough courage to tell the husband that there was a package at the porch and it might be my book. And even then I could not dare to look at the book, to leaf through its pages, to make sure that it indeed was the one I had written. Of course after the package was opened and the books glanced through, the grim reviewers in my home shared prophecies.

"There are only two color pictures. Spot Books have so many nice pictures. This is boring," said the 4 year old LS.

The 9 yr old, voracious reader, wanted to read it but I said "Later".
After a quick glance through the pages she gravely asked "But will people in US understand it?"
I remembered Chitra Banerjee's advice -- never underestimate your readers.

The husband-man(referred to in the book as H-man) said, "Your publishers are astute to have done the book in paperback".
After a scathing pause he tried to explain, "That way if something goes wrong and the need arises to hit the cook on the head out of frustration, no one will be hurt much. A Hard cover could have been far damaging".

I won't say anymore right now. Writing the book was really fun and I am really happy the way it has turned out but this now is the scary part.

The book is up on Flipkart for pre-order at a special price. So now it is your turn. Go ahead and order.

Pre-order from Flipkart

Maachher Paturi -- the new woman's twist

Macher Paturi

The word "paaturi" comes from the Bangla word "paata" or leaf . That said, it becomes crystal clear that "Maacher Paturi" or Fish Paturi is a preparation where the fish is cooked in some sort of a leaf.

It being a Bengali recipe. it also becomes more than crystal clear that the said fish has been marinated in a sharp, pungent mustard-y paste of shorshe bata and drizzled with mustard oil. Okay, apparently there is a non-Ghoti version where the fish is wrapped in other spice pastes, not necessarily mustard but I have not tried that.

Once these two bases have been covered you are free to "go as you like" on Maachher paturi.

More than 20-25 years ago,

1. The maacher paturi that I would eat would always be prepared by my Dida.
2. The fish would always be Ilish.
3. The leaf would always be Banana. Some homes do their paturi in gourd leaves like Lau Pata and they taste very good too.

Kolapata was easily available, an arm's length away, growing in perfect neglect amongst the jackfruit and pampered mangoes, making it the leaf of choice. Dida would dab the fresh Ilish pieces with shorshe bata and kaancha shorsher tel, throw in a few green chillies and wrap them up in cut rectangular pieces of the Banana leaf. With an expert hand she then neatly tied the fish parcels with twine, an act which I looked at with much wonder. Not being a very dexterous kind myself, I found the whole "tying with twine" part a very complex act and based on that memory of neat parcels alone, I labeled paturi as a dish difficult to concoct.

Once the parcels were ready, Dida would tuck them into the steaming rice, that was cooking in a large pot on the coal stove. This tucking would happen towards the very end of the rice cooking and the latent heat from the hot rice would steam the fish in their banana leaf parcels. When those leafy envelopes were opened to reveal the mustardy fish, the fragrance was ethereal. Have you ever taken a strong whiff of banana leaf that has been warmed with steaming rice and then spiked with aroma of shorsher tel and Ilish ? It is hard to describe. Just like it is hard to explain the fragrance of tea in earthen kulhars or the perfume of yellow stalked sheuli that has touched the wet earth on autumn mornings.

Some days Dida would also tuck those leafy fish parcels in the dying embers of the unoon or coal stove. The fish cooked slowly, soaking up the flickering heat and smoke, while Dida cleaned up the kitchen, took a shower and offered white balls of nokuldana to her Gopal. That Paaturi tasted a little different from the one cooked in steaming rice. Here the kolapata was lightly charred and had a smoky fragrance where in the other the flavor was more clean and dominated with the fragrance of rice.

20 plus years later, the paturi that I make has the new woman's twist on it. The fragrance is not exactly as it would be in Dida's kitchen.

1. The Banana leaf is bought frozen, in exchange of several dollars from an Asian Store.
2. The fish is not always Ilish and fillet of fish like Swai, Salmon and Tilapia are abundantly used. 
3. Instead of tucking the fish parcels in a pot of steaming rice or in dying embers, I just put them in the oven.
4. And oh, I never use twine to tie them up. I use toothpicks to secure the packets and heave a sigh of relief.

But the taste is pretty close. The fish cooked in the banana leaf, is delicate and flavorful, the mustard paste is just as sharp and pungent, the fragrance of the banana leaf as ethereal.

Some things never change.

You can also steam them in a steamer like this or do them over a covered griddle on the stove. But I almost always do it in the oven, because that way I can forget about them while they cook on timer and go about my life of getting homework done, folding the laundry and prepping for next day's lunch.

When it is dinner time, "ting-ting" there is delicious paturi to be had. Amazingly I had blogged about a Thai Fish wrapped in Banana leaves a couple of months ago and given a choice between the Bengali fish paturi and Thai fish in banana leaf, it is hard for us to choose. We love both equally.

Maachher Paturi -- Fish in mustard paste cooked in banana leaf

Prep

Clean the fish and get it ready. If you are using fish fillet cut each fillet in about 3"x 3" pieceI started with 2 fillet of swai, each cut in 3.

Make homemade Kashundi. The best option and that Kashundi will serve many purpose.

If you are reluctant to do so make Mustard Paste as follows:
Soak 3 tbsp of Mustard seeds + 1 tsp Poppy seeds in water for 20 minutes
Drain and put in a blender jar along with 4-5 hot green chillies.
With a splash of water make a thick paste.

Now if I am using fish other than Ilish/Hilsa, I also add 2 cloves of garlic to the blender jar and make a garlicky-mustard paste

In a bowl, pour the
mustard paste
1 tbsp Mustard oil
salt to taste 
pinch of turmeric powder
Mix and make a smooth paste.

Variations: Sometimes with mild fish that does not have much flavor of its own like Swai etc., I add some more things to the mustard paste. Like I add couple of tablespoons of dhonepata chaatni(coriander chutney) to the mustard paste and then use it as the marinade. Try it. Mustard with fresh coriander adds a beautiful layer of flavor.

If you have bought frozen banana leaves, defrost them first by keeping them out at room temperature. Then cut them in rectangles of 6" x 6" or your preferred size. Wash each piece. Dry. Keep aside.

Now I buy frozen banana leaves which are already wilted and perfect for wrapping.But if you have fresh banana leaves, you need to prep them for wrapping. First cut off the central thick rib and trim the edges. Then cut them in preferred size. To make them flexible you need to wilt them. For that pop them in the oven at 200F for 5-8 minutes or warm them over very low flame of your stove/gas range. Be careful that you do not char or burn them in the process.

Start Cooking

To marinade the fish, you can either use your home-made Kashundi or Mustard paste.
Put the fish fillet on the banana leaf.
Rub with sprinkle of salt (mustard paste already has salt so very little on fish) and smear generously with the mustard paste.
Add few drops of mustard oil.
Garnish with a tbsp of grated coconut and slit and chopped green chilli. If using frozen grated coconut , defrost it before using.

Wrap the banana leaf to make a parcel as shown. Secure the loose ends with a toothpick.

Now usually I let these parcels rest for about 30 minutes before popping them in the oven. For a big party, I make the parcels a day ahead and refrigerate(NOT freezer). And then just an hour before the meal, I take them out and let them sit at the counter. I put them in the oven 25-30 minutes before the meal is to be served. That way you get fresh steaming paaturi with minimal effort on party day.

Put the packets on a oven proof tray.  Pre-heat oven to 350F. Bake these fish parcels for 20-25 minutes until you see the banana leaf charring slightly around the edges.

I serve the parcels individually along with steaming white rice.

Kerala Style Chicken Stew and a Yellow Belt

Sometimes when I write this blog, I feel a tad guilty.

Am I being totally honest here ? Am I portraying only a slice of my life here ? Am I writing only about the funny and smart things my kids say ? Am I hiding from the world that my PMS lasts for exactly 21 days and 5 hours, give and take two ?

The thing is when you read a blog, anyone's blog you see only a slice of the blogger's life there. The slice the author/blogger has chosen to put forward for world viewing in HTML. So it would be wrong to assume a character, a life just based on the posts he/she may be doing.

Just because someone eats organic almond flour pancake for breakfast and posts the recipe does not mean they don't eat phuchka for lunch. Just because someone is proudly posting pictures of masterpieces drawn by her 2 year old does not mean that the said 2 year old did not get a timeout for scribbling on the walls that very morning.If you give it some thought, you are only seeing a small window, like looking through the camera lens.What lies outside of that is nobody's business.

You should neither judge nor form lofty opinions based on that.


In my case, I mostly write about the funny things that my girls do because that is what I want to remember about their childhood. The fun part. I don't want to remember the tantrums, the meltdown, the shrieking screams, the tears, lots of them. They are a part of life for sure but ten years later they won't matter. This will.

But today I want to write something different. Amidst the fun I also want to write about the learning and the growing. Both my daughters' and mine.

So I usually write about LS's smart retorts which are really really funny and she is indeed a sharp kid, sharp as a knife and cute as a button. At four and half she reads menus at restaurants. Have I told you she is also funny?

But also she is someone who takes a little time to warm up to people. Every kid comes with their individual traits and LS, I have realized is not very comfortable amongst a group of people she does not know much. I mean not strangers, just people she is not that familiar with. In that scenario she is a completely different person. She gets quiet, even timid and until few months back she would also be very intimidated by friendly gestures from such people. There were birthday parties where she would resort to howling and gatherings where she refused to talk to anyone. This in sharp contrast to the playful, naughty girl doing somersaults amongst people she is very comfortable with. And by "people she is comfortable with", I mean both friends and families she sees more frequently.

No doubt her transition to pre-school was tearful and difficult. In the firs few months she refused to play with the kids in class and took to sticking to the teacher.There was a point I was also getting a tad worried because BS had been a moderately social child with an easy smile and an eagerness to participate in everything and I had no clue how to make LS more comfortable in a crowd.

"You were exactly like that at her age." my Mother said. "You would chatter and talk non-stop at home and outside you were a bhije beral."  I chose to ignore her statement.

When I talked to her teachers early last year though, they seemed the least bit concerned and stuck to my mother's theory of "every flower blooms in its own time". I need not worry, she is a smart kid and plays with few kids if not all, they said. The only thing they however suggested I could do is to enroll her in some group activity classes to make her comfortable in large groups.

Since BS was already learning taekwondo, I thought to enroll LS in the same class. I knew the teachers very well and if both kids could spend an hour there three afternoons a week, I could spend a good amount of time at Kohl's across the street.Yeah, that was my incentive. Also that my otherwise polite girls could beat up people in future if necessary.

Last summer when I enrolled LS in the taekwondo class, after the first couple of classes she refused to go. Forget Kohl's, I would be sitting there in class with her and yet she cried. Her teacher however was an excellent gentleman with far more patience than mine. He never forced her to do any forms and tried to play games with her. Even on the day LS locked herself in the office and refused to come out, he managed it all pretty well. Didi, too helped by always being on her side. Slowly, and I mean really slowly, over a period of 3 months or so LS warmed up to her taekwondo class. She played tag with her teacher, jumped on the trampoline, punched the dummies and also learned some karate moves. I think the class had a positive effect because even in her pre-school she gladly did the weekly sports classes and made more friends.

"I just want her to be in the class. It is fine if she doesn't test for any belts," I would tell her teacher. At that point I was just relieved that she was at least going to the class and enjoying herself there.

Finally, first testing came up around end of  Feb this year. BS was testing for her brown-black belt. If LS at all wanted, she would get a yellow belt, the second level. I asked her if she wanted an yellow belt.

"Yes, Mr.K has said I am ready, " LS said, very confident, uncharacteristically excited about testing day. I gathered she had no idea that there will be loads of parents that day and she would have to demo her moves in front of them. I tried to prepare her by telling that there might be more people in class on the day but she need not worry and such but she didn't really pay me enough attention.

On the day of testing, when we reached the school and she saw all those people there, her face darkened as excepted. Soon tears started rolling down her cheeks. She being the youngest student in the class, the other parents were actually happy to see her and more friendly than usual. That made things only worse and she refused to leave our side. Finally after much pep talk by me, the Dad, the sis, the teacher and an incentive of frozen yogurt with loads of topping, she went on to do her form exercises. Her face was still tense and my heart probably beat faster than hers. But I knew she needed this push for her own good. She however did everything that was expected of her albeit with less power and vigor than on her regular days.

Test over we came back and the day was forgotten.

Next week was result and LS got her yellow belt. She had done her form in full and so she passed on to the next level. We tried to make a song and dance of it and she too seemed a little proud of her yellow belt. There is still miles to go for her to be more open of people but we do see a lot of changes. She has quite a few friends in school and her class teacher really loves her.

Thirteen yeras later when she packs her bag and steps into the outside world, I want to remember her first yellow belt. It must have taken a lot of courage for her 39" petite frame, to do those exercises in front of people she did not know but she had survived and survived good.

And I am sure she always will. To conquer her fears and step out, to face the world and say "Hai-Yah"

Now to the chicken stew, which this time is Kerala style. LS loves chicken and every Sunday a chicken curry is made with her in mind. BS is not too fond of meat these days and I try to make a chicken dish that caters to all four of us as a Sunday lunch. We are quiet fond of this Kerala Chicken stew with creamy coconut milk from Mishmash's blog.

I have adapted it and add vegetables like carrots and beans to it sometimes. My method is also a bit different to suit my taste. I also make it less spicy for the kids. To make it spicier for us, I use Preeoccupied's idea of finishing off with fried red chilli and garlic slices.

Spooned over a bowl of rice, this creamy and fragrant Kerala Chicken Stew makes a  lovely Sunday meal for us. It really really is very good. Cannot thank Mishmash and her beautiful blog enough for it.

Kerala Style Chicken Stew

Original Recipe

Prep

Marinate about 2lb of chicken pieces with salt, turmeric powder, little lime juice and 2 tsp of ginger-garlic paste

Chop about 4-5 small red potatoes in halves.
Chop a small sized carrot in sticks
Microwave the vegetables

Start Cooking

Heat vegetable oil in a saucier or kadhai

To the hot oil add
6-8 whole dry red chilies and
6 cloves of garlic sliced thin
When you get the flavor of the garlic remove the garlic and red chillies and keep aside. We will use this for garnish at the last stage.

Now to the garlic flavored oil add the chicken pieces. Saute the chicken pieces till they loose their raw coloring. If water is released from the chicken, cook till water dries up. Remove the chicken pieces and keep aside.

Add some more oil if needed to the kadhai.

Temper the oil with
2 green cardamom
2 clove/laung
1 thin stick of cinnamom
10-12 whole black peppercorn
2 star anise
and a sprig of curry patta

Soon the fragrance in your kitchen will be so beautiful that you will forget Dior.
At this point to the oil add
1 medium sized red onion thinly sliced
5-6 pearl onion (optional)
1" knob of ginger peeled and chopped

Fry till the onion is soft.
Next add the potatoes and carrots cooked in the microwave.
Sprinkle 1/2 tsp of home-made Garam masala powder and saute the vegetables.

Add the fried chicken pieces and mix with the other stuff in that kadhai

Now add
1 cup coconut milk + 2 cup of warm water
salt to taste
and let the gravy come to a boil.
Add 1 more cup of coconut milk, lower the heat, cover and let the chicken cook.

Once it is done finish off by
adding a few more curry leaves
the fried garlic + red chilli from the first step

You can also  heat a tbsp of ghee in separate pan, roast some cashews and add it to the stew as suggested in the original recipe. I often skip this step though it boosts the flavor.

Enjoy with some rice.

Chandrani and Pia's Dhonepata Bata Sheem

Yesterday around lunch I asked a question on FB. Here is what I asked.

While I was eating my oatmeal at lunch, going through suggestions of excellent recipes with sheem, my tummy growling, my heart aching, I suddenly realized I did not have sheem at home. I had snow peas. There was no way I was going to make a stop at Patel in the evening to get half a pound of sheem. Jalebis might have made me do so, but not sheem. Thank you.

Now a lot of the time when I am making dishes like paanchmishali or labra, I throw in the snow peas and call them sheem. Of course that doesn't make them sheem but they are sheem like -- sweeter, tender and at the risk of being lynched tastes better than sheem to me.

When I put them in any non-Indian dish, I just call them snow peas. That sounds very right for the soy sauce infused stir fry.

But I have never told anyone about my habit of dual naming of the snow peas. I mean what if people think I am tarnishing the Bengali culture by substituting snow peas for sheem.This simple act of mine might might ban me from my BongMom-dom.

But then Sharmila asked --"Can snow peas be replaced for sheem?"

And I heaved a sigh of relief. So there are people out there who think like me. Who sub sheem with snow peas in times of great need and depression.

That issue resolved I went ahead with Pia's Mom's and Chandrani's excellent recipe of Sheem with Dhonepata Bata -- Hyacinth Beans with Coriander paste.Ok, ok in my case snow peas. But we will not tell anyone that. We will stick with sheem.

This recipe was very different from the shorseh-posto bata ones I have always had. The paturi and shorshe sheem are the ones I am more familiar with.

The fresh scent of coriander in the Dhonepata Bata sheem inspired me.That someone's Mother's recipe would be made in my kitchen and the same flavor will bond families who have never known each other and yet share the same food culture, sealed the rest.

Thank you Chandrani and Pia who blogs at Peppercorns in my Pocket. Loving it.

Dhonepata Bata Sheem

I used 3/4th of the amount  of snow peas as shown in the second pic. Around 25 snow peas, estimated.
Chop the ends of the sheem and then chop in half

Make a paste of
fistful of coriander leaves
3 fat cloves of garlic(6 regular sized ones)
4 hot green chillies
with a splash of water
I think a thicker paste was required but mine was more liquidy.

Heat 1/2 tbsp Mustard Oil

Temper the oil with 1/4th tsp of Kalonji/Kalo Jeere and 2 slit green chillies

When the seeds sputter and hiss, add the chopped sheem. With a sprinkle of turmeric and salt saute till raw smell is gone. Around 5 mins

Now add the coriander-garlic paste. Add salt to taste. Mix well. Cover the cooking pan and let the vegetable cook. If needed remove cover, add little water. cook till veggie is done.

Add a pinch of sugar and adjust for salt.

Serve with white rice and a touch of kashundi if available.